Betty's Case

“This story was provided via Human Rights and Equalities. Names and some details have been changed for anonymity.”

Betty is 75. She knew throughout her entire life that, as she describes it: “I was born in the wrong body". Born male, throughout her life she was bullied for being ‘too feminine’. Due to societal and family pressures Betty decided to pretend her masculinity. She conformed to marrying and having children with a woman. as a genuine attempt of trying to be ‘male’. She loved her wife and children but went through periods of depression and on three occasions tried to die by suicide , arising from as she describes it as ‘ living a lie’. Eventually expressing at age 66 to her wife her life long feelings and inner identity, her wife left her and two out of three of her children rejected her. It was  at this time, living in recluse, with the encouragement of her middle daughter that she began her transition.

She describes that her wife had gone to visit their minister when she had disclosed to her, and how  the minister rang Betty  suggesting to her, that she Betty, should "keep away from the church for a while for everyone’s sake’. Three weeks afterwards the minister visited Betty at home and prayed with Betty that "she would turn away from the perversion she was living through", and suggested to her that she may have been possessed by a demon. The minister suggested that more intensive prayers would be needed to help with this . He questioned Betty about whether Betty’s father had been very feminine in his demeanour  in any way  in his childhood or adulthood and could this have been causation for Betty wanting to dress up in women’s clothes. He suggested that Betty’s father had not perhaps been a proper model of masculinity and that it might help Betty if she started wearing more manly clothes again , acting more manly and going out with the men in the church. Following this visit Betty was in effect coerced to attend ‘ lads nights out’ in which she was dragged to strip clubs, drinking sessions, with men from the church who were in effect exhibiting the objectification of women.

Betty was made to wear men’s clothes brought to her by the men from the church, and she was then asked to attend a session in the church where she was made to undergo an exorcism to cast out of her  the ‘demon of  transgenderism’, from her. This was followed by them organising what they said was a therapy session. This involved her being asked to ‘turn up dressed up as a woman’. One of them said that they had heard that confronting the reality of  transgenderism as a sin was painful,  but that it had worked wonders to cure others .

(TW: Strong detail of injury in this and the next paragraph) She was made to sit on a chair and had her bare feet put into water and electrodes put on her feet. She was made to watch projected images of men, and then of trans women, and was given a shock when the trans women were shown. This was repeated with compositions of families. It was explained that this was ‘aversion therapy’ to help Betty realise that it was wrong to be trans. She said that the trauma she experienced during the hands-on exorcism was equally as bad as the shocks from the electrodes .

It was after one of the exorcisms that she tried to attempt suicide. Because she could not change, Betty was asked to leave the church she had been a member of for over 40 years. It was said to her that her presence was ‘disturbing others in the congregation’ and that she would be welcomed back if she reverted to wearing men’s clothes and acting as a man'.

Human Rights and Equalities’ Chrissy Meleady challenged this and secured trans sensitive counselling for Betty. She is living with her middle daughter and expresses that she is settled and at last able to live her own life as she really is.

Her wife and she now meet up regularly and Betty and her wife are planning to move back in together in the near future. Her wife has moved away from the church and has expressed her undying love for Betty and her regret at how things turned out.

Betty’s two sons still find it hard to accept her and her identity but Betty remains hopeful and has faith that in time they will come to a place of acceptance.

Betty no longer attends any church services and remains fearful of rejection and of being subjected to more exorcisms.