Solidarity, Listening & Believing

Our first act in being here for victims and survivors of conversion abuses and exorcism is one of solidarity. A solidarity that starts with listening and believing.

Recovery from spiritual abuse starts with recognising the abuse, and the internal processing can be very painful, and working through that pain, the confusion, and escaping the spiritual maze of abuse can be exhausting. The power of judgement, condemnation, rejection, and the ensuing shame, guilt, and even self-hatred can be crushing. Having others around you, who believe in you, and believe you, starts with sharing your story in a safe place.

Many victims and survivors of Conversion abuses and exorcism are often too frightened to tell their story. Fear that no-one will believe you, fear that your abusers will deny everything you say, or even worse, accuse you of lying or making your story up, often stops us sharing the pain and suffering we have been through, often for years, even decades after we first experienced these abuses. Most conversion abuses and exorcism is performed behind closed doors, by two abusers, with no witnesses, and often no written records kept.

One of the most destructive elements of spiritual abuse is how it isolates us through fear, confusion, and the shattering of our ability to trust others. Faith is often lost, and trust broken.

Belonging

Telling your story in a safe place, telling your story to others who have been through similar experiences and understand what you have suffered, is a very healing, cathartic, and necessary step to recovery from spiritual abuse. What we may not realise as we wrestle with whether we can trust anyone to hear our story, and not reject us, or tell us we are lying, that our story may be somebody else’s healing, pathway, and freedom from the prison of trauma, that we can become locked in, and which can become locked away inside us, behind a mask that tells everyone we are doing ok.

Your story may be the key to unlocking someone else from years and decades of buried pain and shame, and allow them to step into spiritual freedom, and out of their experience of High Control Religion.

We are a small group of volunteers, (currently just four of us), who all have very demanding roles in our day jobs. We are very limited in both time and resources, but we want to facilitate a mutual support group that we hope will grow into a healthy community of survivors, who can encourage, comfort and promote healing, and post-trauma growth, which allows us all to then flourish.

We can sign-post you to resources, organisations that may be able to help you in whatever stage of recovery and growth you are in, whether that be submitting a complaint to the church that abused you, or an organisation that specialises in therapy, or legal advice.

We can publish your story. We may have to anonymise details to protect both you and Ctes from legal action. Each of us has personal experience of conversion abuses and exorcism, and we will listen to you/read your story without judgement, and together with you, help you in the next step of your journey, or point you towards those who can.

Critical Mass, from a moment to a movement

What happened to you in spiritual abuse has the power to separate or cut you off from both God and people. Faith or trust is one of the first things to break in spiritual abuse done in God’s name. What you experienced is your truth and your reality, but it is also a shared reality. The Trevor Project survey conducted in the US revealed that 680,000 people claimed they had suffered conversion therapy, often by means of exorcism. We do not know how many of us there are in the UK.

One of the objectives of this group is to build a community of survivors who can both flourish, and bring hope and healing to others. To do that we need to tell our stories, but also, we need to move beyond reliving our trauma, to empowering and equipping others to heal and flourish. This moves us from isolated and vulnerable individuals into a movement that can bring transformation, hope, and restorative justice for others.

Is Ctes a faith based or religious group?

No. The four of us have differing faith experiences, which includes the loss of faith, and the deconstruction of religious beliefs and loyalties that often accompanies conversion abuses and exorcism, and can be one of the most painful aspects of it. Therefore, whilst we all seek to remain spiritually sensitive, we do not assume faith of anyone, nor do we presume to inflict any faith we may have on those who seek support from of us.

For those who have lost their faith, those who are deconstructing their faith, and those who are either clinging to their faith, or strong and resolute in your faith, we hope we can journey with you, dialogue, and respect each other, wherever we are in this spectrum of beliefs.

David and goliath

A familiar story to most of us. What obstacles do we face in seeking post-trauma growth and healing? How can we help each other? What are the giants we face?

Most churches, clergy, and denominations who have practised conversion abuses and exorcism upon us, are bound from admitting that truth. Behind this fear of the truth are concerns about the damage to individual and institutional reputations, and all the consequences that may have for them. Equally, all churches should have public liability insurance in the event of clergy or churches being found guilty of abuse to members or attendees.

At this present stage in the history of conversion abuses and exorcisms which have been happening since at least the early 1960’s, all the denominations, whilst moving towards to beliefs that ‘Conversion Therapy’ and exorcism are a very destructive form of psychological torture or torment, have yet to make these beliefs into a categoric policy banning the practises, or if they have, they are unwilling to make plain why they have banned ‘Conversion Therapy’ and exorcism.

The reason for this resolute denial, is that to openly admit conversion abuses and exorcism where an evil that needed to be banned, would be to admit that they were practised in their churches. This would be an open admission that there must, therefore be victims and survivors. To admit there are victims and survivors would be to admit that therefore, as a part of the body of Christ, there is therefore a need to exercise restorative justice to all those who have suffered conversion abuses and exorcism.

The denominational governing bodies, and their insurance companies, cannot afford to allow this process to occur, for that reason, despite pious statements of intent, denominational governing bodies are denying that you and I, that we, have ever suffered conversion abuses and exorcism. To admit that our stories are true, would open the floodgates of litigation against clergy, churches, and denominations, the numbers of which may well exceed those of sexual abuse victims and survivors.

Therefore, the giant we face is one of institutional denial, obstruction, and gaslighting. In this, clergy, churches, denominations, their most senior leaders, and their insurance companies are united in denying the truth of your story. In this they deny the very truths they preach and seek to uphold; a gospel of repentance, restitution, restoration, and humility. To do that they have to exercise power over victims and survivors to ensure their stories are silenced.

This is a church and clergy who want ‘To Move On, from the days of ‘Conversion Therapy’ and exorcism’, without repentance. In doing this, they perpetuate and embed a sickness in the church which is cancerous to its wellbeing, health, and future. A case of the spiritually blind leading the spiritually blind.

Alone, we can do very little, together we can achieve what seems impossible.

action and activism

What we can do together very much depends upon how this group and community grows, and what the unforeseen consequences will be of sharing our stories; of speaking truth to power. We have no clear plan other than building community at this stage. The gifts that you bring, the commitment to our shared situation, is what will determine our future, as both individuals, and as a collective and movement that seeks restorative justice for all victims and survivors of conversion abuses and exorcism.

helping others find healing, closure, and restorative justice

Sharing your story may help provide valuable evidence. By mapping churches and clergy who taught and practised, or facilitated conversion abuses and exorcism, we can build a clearer picture of how widespread this practise was. One person bringing a claim of having suffered ‘Conversion Therapy’ and exorcism may struggle to provide evidence, when all evidence was so cleverly hidden, but when several people bring similar claims, it is much easier to prove those cases; in the mouths of two or three witnesses is a matter established. (Deuteronomy 17:6, Deuteronomy 19:15, Matthew 18:16, and 2 Corinthians 13:1.) This is a biblical premise for establishing the truth, evidenced in both Old and New Testaments of the bible, fundamental to church discipline, resolving conflict, and a foundational legal principle.

Our Motivation

Many of us are highly motivated to call out and expose the evils of conversion abuses, and exorcism, to ensure what we have suffered is not inflicted upon others. It has taken many of us decades to recover from the abuses inflicted by ‘Conversion Therapy’ and exorcism. By encouraging and supporting each other, we increase our capacity to force change, and to see ‘Conversion Therapy’ made illegal, and to help ensure it does not continue in more hidden, covert, coercive, and equally dangerous forms. Lastly, we hope we can end this cancerous hiding of the truth in the wider church, the silencing of victims and survivors, and ensure a healthier and safer church for LGBTQIA+ people.